Satirical Lyrics: The Halo Edition

“Spartans” – based on “Royals” by Lorde

I've never seen a prophet in the flesh
I do my best to fight the UNSC
And I'm not proud of my low rank,
A minor elite, I ain’t no Zealot

But every match's like plasma, needlers, spikers for brute minors    2,2,6
Rifles, pistols, or maybe Spartan Lasers,
We don't care, we're driving revenants in our dreams.
But everybody's like snipers, shotguns, rockets just ain’t fair play.
Mongeese, Warthogs, Wraiths blow them all away.
We don't care, we aren't caught up in your matchmaking.

And we'll never be Spartans (Spartans).
It don't run in our blood,
That kind of game ain't for elites.
We crave some different matchmaking.
Let me be your leader (leader),
You can call me Blue Team
And baby I'll shoot, I'll shoot, I'll shoot, I'll shoot.
Let me play that game mode.

My team and I—we've hacked the game.
We mod our weapons on the screen waiting for next round. 
And everyone who’s played us knows, we’re invincible,
We don’t mind cheating.

   

But every match's like plasma, needlers, spikers for brute minors    2,2,6
Rifles, pistols, or maybe Spartan Lasers,
We don't care, we're driving revenants in our dreams.
But everybody's like snipers, shotguns, rockets just ain’t fair play.
Mongeese, Warthogs, Wraiths blow them all away.
We don't care, we aren't caught up in your matchmaking.

And we'll never be Spartans (Spartans).
It don't run in our blood,
That kind of game ain't for elites.
We crave some different matchmaking.
Let me be your leader (leader),
You can call me Blue Team
And baby I'll shoot, I'll shoot, I'll shoot, I'll shoot.
Let me play that game mode.

Oow oow ouch
We're stronger than Bungie ever dreamed,
And I so love killing marines.
Oow oow ouch
Halo’s great when there’s no cheating
We aren't caught up in your matchmaking.

And we'll never be Spartans (Spartans).
It don't run in our blood,
That kind of game ain't for elites.
We crave some different matchmaking.
Let me be your leader (leader),
You can call me Blue Team
And baby I'll shoot, I'll shoot, I'll shoot, I'll shoot.
Let me play that game mode.

 “Shoot Someone” – based on “Say Something” by A Great Big World

Shoot someone, I'm gonna change to blue
I'll play slayer, if you want me to
Anywhere I would've played with you
Shoot someone, I'm gonna change to blue

And I will take the oddball
And soon, you will be dead
There is no way to stall

And you will get shot and fall
I'm still learning controls
Still learning to crawl

Shoot someone, I’ll assassinate you
I'm sorry that I had to backstab you
Anywhere I would've betrayed you
Shoot someone, I'm gonna change to blue

And I will fight ‘til I die
You're the one that I’ll shoot
And I'm saying goodbye

Shoot someone, I'm going to shoot you
And I'm sorry that I had to grenade you
And anywhere I would've played with you (Oh-oh-oh-oh)
Shoot someone, I'm gonna change to blue

Shoot someone, I'm gonna change to blue
Shoot someone...

Once again, please leave any song suggestions you want to be parodied, and you may just see them in the next post.  The next Satirical Lyrics' theme will be "all the songs that were all the rage last year but no one remembers now".  So please try to suggest songs that you loved last year but can't seem to recall now...